-Episode Seven? -Yes.
We've come all the way to Episode Seven...
There's one thing I really disagree with.
It's about my daughter.
She always tells me that she wants to see you.
I've no idea why.
But she wants to see you, apparently.
I'll never forget what she said when she was just 3 years old.
I asked her, "What kind of boys do you like?"
Her answer was, "Mr. Jimmy and Gian."
That's what she said.
And you know that saying, "What's learned in the cradle is carried to the grave."
So, I thought,
"She's going to fall for guys like Jimmy and Gian for the rest of her life.
She's never gonna change."
And I've been worried ever since. It still worries me.
And when I saw the first guy she was rumored to be dating,
he had a face just like yours.
I thought,
"People's preferences really are determined by age 3."
But the next guy she dated was good-looking. I was so relieved.
That sure was tough. And even now...
I really don't understand why, but you're her type of guy.
The fact she likes you is weird.
But how can she even like Gian? It doesn't make sense at all.
Why are Jimmy and Gian her ideal men? I don't get it.
And a few examples will be shown in today's episode,
but my wife got angry with you quite often, too.
She would tell me, "Stop bringing him home."
It's true. But what do you expect?
That time when you wanted to quit showbiz was a nightmare.
Apparently, they couldn't fit it into this series.
But one day you said, "I'm quitting comedy!"
So, we organized a meeting with you, your manager, Ms. Otake, and me.
-And we had a big talk, right? -Yes.
-Remember? -I do.
My wife said, "Don't say things like that, Jimmy. You can try harder."
Your manager said, "Sanma, give him a lecture.
Make him quit saying he wants to quit showbiz."
But you said, "I want to quit." So, I said,
"Okay, I'll give you one week. Give it a good think."
-Right? -Yes.
And we discussed how there wasn't much else you could do anyway.
Your manager said, "Thank you. I'm sure he'll rethink things.
I'm sure Jimmy will try harder."
So, the next week, we went to a cafe. Was it called "Italian Tomato"?
-Italian Tomato. -Italian Tomato?
On the second floor.
We were at the "Tomato." We ordered Napolitan spaghetti and all.
We had no worries.
"I'm sorry about all the fuss. I will start afresh."
We were sure that's what you would say.
So, we were drinking coffee and eating spaghetti when I asked,
"Jimmy, did you think things over?
It's been a week.
Have you made a decision about quitting showbiz?"
You said, "Yes. I thought about it all week."
And my wife asked, "What will you do, Jimmy?"
And you said, "I have come to a decision.
I'm going to become a stripper's pimp."
And my wife... Ms. Otake said,
"What did he just say?"
"I want to become a stripper's pimp."
Then your manager slapped you in the head. Remember?
I said, "So, are you dating a stripper?" You said, "Not yet."
-"What will you do?" -"I'll look for one in Atami tomorrow."
I said, "Huh? You'll find one there?"
You said, "Yes. But before that, I have something else to tell you.
I'm going to become a licensed masseur."
"Why?"
"So, I will be able to massage the shoulders and legs of my stripper.
So, I will start studying for my masseur license tomorrow.
That's what I'm going to do."
Ms. Otake was frozen, with a forkful of spaghetti...
"He really is stupid."
I remember that well.
-Do you remember? -I do.
Go for it.
-Oh, Takamiya. -Thank you for everything.
-Where are you going? -I came to give Udagawa my resignation.
Not so fast.
We need to talk.
Mr. Sanma did that for me?
He begged the chief to change his mind.
Your dismissal is on hold.
I have to apologize to Mr. Sanma.
What should I do? I said some terrible things to him.
I'm not cut out for this industry.
How would you know? You just started. It's too early to tell.
You can try harder.
But I don't know what I should try harder to do.
For the moment, just try harder for Jimmy.
That will help repay the favor to Mr. Sanma, too.
You can do it.
Okay.
Enough already.
Raise thyself!
Takamiya, you'll get a bruised forehead.
If someone came in, it wouldn't look good.
I'd look like a bully.
I am good for nothing,
but I would deeply appreciate your continued guidance and support.
How stiff are you?
You're not asking to marry my daughter. You're in the industry. Loosen up.
Yes, sir!
-And another thing, Takamiya... -Yes, sir?
Be wary of Jimmy.
Sorry?
He is primal.
-"Primal"? -Right.
But looking at you now,
you're not really the sexy type. We probably have nothing to worry about.
Well, forgive me for not being "sexy."
-It's better that way. -Why is it better?
Hang in there.
Yes, sir. Thank you.
No trouble at all.
Jimmy?
Yes?
Thanks for the picture book.
No problem. You're welcome.
Help yourself to those snacks.
Okay.
I'm putting Imaru to sleep. You can go to bed if you want.
-You have work in Osaka tomorrow, right? -Yes.
But, I'm okay.
Whatever suits you.
-Jimmy, doing it? -I'm doing it!
"Once upon a time, there was a queen who loved to sing.
One night, the selfish king said to her,
'No matter how beautiful you think your voice may be,
it is not good enough to make that shining star come to me.'"
SHINOBU OHTAKE'S RECITAL
Ms. Otake does concerts, too?
Twinkle, twinkle, little star
How I wonder--
SANMA AND SHINOBU'S DAUGHTER IMARU
-Shut up! -She's right!
-You're putting too much emotion into it. -Then you read it, Boss.
Okay.
Watch this.
"The selfish king then asked his men the impossible,
'Can't anybody get that star for me?'
But one of his men said,
Shut up. That's too much.
She'll just want to play, and never fall asleep.
It's not working...
-Jimmy! -Yes, sir?
-Can you try reading this to her? -Okay.
Thanks.
No problem.
You don't have to be funny.
Quit laughing!
He's funny, right?
Read it, Jimmy.
Here goes.
"Are the stars far away?
If I stretched out my arms could I touch them?
Are the stars close?
Would they laugh if I talked to them?
Could my wish reach the stars?
Would it come true if I prayed?
If my wish was to come true I would love to go there."
We'd love to go, too, right?
There have been times when I thought I could touch a shooting star.
It's true, Imaru--
Little Imaru fell asleep.
Everyone fell asleep.
THEN HE BECAME A STAR
EPISODE 7
About Jimmy...
What is it?
How's he doing? He's not cut out for comedy, right?
Well, I wouldn't say that...
I don't know what he has the potential to do yet.
When he first came to us, he didn't even want to be a comedian.
His high school teacher begged me for a job in whatever position possible.
Is that so?
I thought it was because he loved comedy.
He doesn't love it at all.
So, I had him working as a gofer for the theater, but then,
Sanma thought he was funny and took him under his wing.
Who the hell are you?
So, if he hadn't met Mr. Sanma...
Who knows what he'd be doing?
Doesn't that mean we're on the wrong track by trying to make him succeed in comedy?
But comedian or not, if he's making us money,
we're not going to complain. That's business.
Which means...
But when we don't fire comedians without gigs, it costs us money.
-It does? -Of course it does!
And when you look at the comedians who are successful,
you realize they're good at producing themselves.
What about Jimmy?
He can't.
He's an idiot.
So, you have to produce Jimmy for him.
At the very least, get him enough gigs to pay your salary.
Clear?
Understood.
I'll do my best to help you get promoted in your dear company.
Yeah, I would love a promotion. From the bottom of my heart.
Are you okay?
I feel much better.
I was about to burst when we got off the highway.
Then the gas stations were closed. You're a lifesaver.
-Thank you. -It's okay.
I'm your manager. I'm glad I could be of assistance.
When you said you would just dig a hole, it was too much.
-I cleaned up your toilet. -You made a mess in there?
Mr. Sanma told me. "Always keep your toilet clean."
Apparently it shows what kind of person you really are.
He teaches you things like that?
He's amazing, right?
Is the car okay? It's still out in front.
What are you looking at?
Well... I've...
I've never been in a girl's room before.
I've never had a boy in my room either.
I'm the first?
So... The police are strict around here.
-Take a look. -I am looking.
Hey! What are you looking at? Hey! Damn it!
-White, white, white... -Shut up! Damn you.
One was pink.
Oh, that's right. While you're here, take a look at these.
Your pay slip and your bankbook. The current balance is--
No. I'll leave that to you.
Why? This is about you. Money is important. You have to check.
But if you check for me, there will be no problem.
-What if I used all your money? -Well, that would be that.
You really don't care.
Do you cook and stuff?
Sometimes.
Was this program a special broadcast? Was it an hour long?
I don't remember.
The pay rates are different. I'll check later.
Do the other comedians know their pay and stuff like that?
Of course they do. Aren't you ever suspicious of people?
I wonder. Are you suspicious of me?
Me? Why? What would I be suspicious of?
We're all alone. I might try to attack you.
Yeah, right. If you're going to attack me, hurry up and do it.
-What the hell was that? -You said I could attack you!
Why did you lie?
Lie? It was a joke!
Hey! Stop it! Stop it!
Get out of here!
It's not funny!
But, hey, all's well that ends well.
That's not the point.
I told you, Jimmy is primal.
When his primal instincts kick in, he doesn't get jokes.
But you said I'd be safe because I'm not sexy.
You're right! He didn't need any sex appeal.
That proves how primal he is. Your bad luck!
Mr. Sanma! Why do you make everything a comedy?
Don't you know he sold his soul to the god of comedy?
I sold it, but I haven't gotten my receipt yet.
-Big Bro, you gave it away for free. -I guess I forgot. Silly me.
-You have to be surrounded by laughter? -It beats tears.
I guess...
So, Mr. Jimmy always... He thinks about that all day, every day.
As a female, I simply don't get it.
We're not all as bad as him, but all guys have the same problem.
Do you think about dirty things, too, Mr. Sanma?
What? Well...
I'm a guy, too. Right, Hibi-yan?
I'm gay.
-Cut that out! -Quit jerking off while eating!
-I can't eat unless I do. -Are you nuts?
So, it's pointless to tell a guy to stop thinking about sex?
But Jimmy is an extra special case.
There is one way.
But it may not be a good one.
Do you have an idea?
Keep him too busy to think about sex.
Keep him too busy...?
-That will kill two birds with one stone! -What?
That's brilliant!
Thank you!
You're not picking that up?
"Kill two birds with one stone"? Was it that good an idea?
-Everyone can see! -Cover it up!
KILL TWO BIRDS WITH ONE STONE
That was scary.
Good morning. What studio should Jimmy Onishi be in?
Studio Four.
Thank you. Two birds, one stone.
Hurry up.
"What should I do?" That's your cue. You ad lib after that.
This was Jimmy Onishi, from the haunted graveyard.
Okay! Great job, everyone!
-It's still daytime. -It's better that way.
-Thank you! -There are no ghosts! Mr. Jimmy! Thank you.
-I don't want to. -Hurry up.
-Thank you! -Thank you.
-Hurry, or we'll miss the train. -Thank you.
...that's what the project's about.
I see. We have to go.
-We're going. -Jimmy, see you.
This way.
Sorry. Hurry up.
Run. Run!
Excuse me. We've arrived.
I am so busy. Why?
What good is a bored comedian?
Hey. Come on, we're getting out.
DRESSING ROOM FOR THE YOSHIMOTO COMEDIANS' MARATHON
Hello!
-Hello! -Hello!
Here's today's lineup.
And, Jimmy, can you run with this attached to you?
Why?
You'll get all the laughs. It's funny.
Sure thing. He'll run with it. Thank you.
-Jimmy, do your best in the marathon. -You do your best.
What a laugh.
-Thanks. -Thank you, sir.
Here's the lineup.
Ladies and gentlemen, it's time to start the annual Yoshimoto Comedians' Marathon.
What drama will unfold this year? Who will win the race?
The race starts now!
Take your marks...
Mr. Jimmy, do your best!
Go for it!
Come on! You can do it!
RETURN POINT
Jimmy! Jimmy!
I am terribly sorry.
The guy thought it would be funny to shoot Jimmy with a BB gun.
We handed him to the police immediately.
Everything's okay. You'll be fine.
-What a relief. -Take care.
Thank you.
The guy that shot you...
he was laughing.
He was laughing at you.
How cruel.
They really think you are an idiot.
They shot you with a BB gun.
You poor thing.
Do I have to do this?
This job...
Really?
Okay.
Bye.
How is Jimmy?
He's not seriously injured.
What a relief.
Yes?
It's me. Shinsuke.
It's you, Hasegawa?
About that painting I asked Jimmy to do the other day...
Yeah. When is it due?
He still has time, but...
He was wrapped up in that incident today,
I was wondering if I should find someone else.
You worry too much. He'll be fine. He's a comedian.
-He wasn't injured? -No, it's nothing grave.
Really? Well, that's good news.
He accepted the offer. I'll make him fulfill it.
If that's what you think. I'll leave it up to you.
Okay, bye.
You want me to hurry up? If I can't paint, I can't paint!
-I'm too busy. -Settle down. You still have time.
I don't have any time! All I do is work.
When is my next day off? There's no end.
If you keep me this busy, I'll never get the painting done.
I'll make Young Boss and Mr. Shinsuke angry.
I never have time to see Young Boss.
I don't have anywhere I could concentrate on painting either.
This isn't fun at all!
-No way! -I'm serious!
-Goodbye. -There's no way!
-I'm serious. -Mr. Sanma, I'm sorry.
-Jimmy won't be here tonight. -Why not?
He has a show in Osaka. The schedule didn't work out.
He sure works a lot. Well, good for him.
Hibi-yan, show me Jimmy's schedule. How busy is he?
Sure.
It's jam-packed. He's raking in the dough.
Shoji,
your schedule's never a worry.
"What did you say?"
-It's not what you say. -It's what you do.
Hibi-yan, he's too busy. What's going on?
I don't think there's anything in particular.
There must be a reason.
He doesn't like being busy, and he doesn't care about money.
You're right.
He doesn't like work. He just wants to have fun.
I know!
It's his manager.
At times like this, Big Bro's animal-like instincts scare me.
It must be his manager.
You mean, Takamiya?
Yep. Something felt strange about her last time.
Here it comes. Big Bro's intuition!
When I told her to keep Jimmy too busy to think about sex, she said,
"That will kill two birds with one stone!"
You know what that means?
Excuse me. Mr. Sanma, we are ready to shoot.
-Sure thing. -But, wait...
Hibi-yan, do you have any idea?
I don't know, either.
Mr. Okure?
You're all standing.
BEING TRUE
-Thank you, sir. -Thank you.
-Good work. -Thanks.
That went well today.
I'm giving you a day off soon.
Really?
Enjoy it however you like.
It's okay to forget about work for a day. You don't get many chances.
I wonder if I can go... Hey, Moon.
What do you think I should do?
You're worrying again? You sure worry a lot.
I really can't figure it out.
What is it?
Before, whenever I had free time,
I wanted to have sex, or go to Young Boss's place,
or have sex.
There were plenty of things I wanted to do.
But now?
Well, I'm busy.
And I worry I might be a nuisance if I go to Young Boss's place.
You're an idiot.
I am, but...
You just need to live true to yourself.
But when you live true to yourself, you end up being selfish.
That means I'll make trouble for the people who've looked after me.
Am I wrong?
You're right. Being true to yourself is being selfish.
But that's the way you live, isn't it?
If you're worried, be true to yourself, and ask someone what you should do.
You think it's okay to be true to myself?
If you're stupid, be stupidly true. That's the best option.
Right? Idiot.
SUGIMOTO
-Good morning. -Hello.
-You're early today. Do you have work? -No, I don't.
This isn't anything special...
-You shouldn't have. Is it for Imaru? -No, it's for Young Boss and you.
What's this? You've never done anything like this.
You're being polite, eh?
Are you planning something?
You're always so kind to me.
You're acting strange.
Do you need a favor from Boss?
No, I don't.
Really?
-Hello. -Good morning!
-Good morning, Young Boss! -Hey.
-You doing it? -I'm doing it!
-Want some coffee? -Sure.
Where's Imaru?
She's gone for a walk with Mom.
I see.
Here's your coffee.
Thanks. Know what?
Jimmy brought us a present, because we're always so nice to him.
What's going on?
Presents and sudden visits... What do you want?
You're suspicious, too?
-Yeah. -See?
Do you need some advice?
Well, I don't really know.
Huh?
You don't know? What don't you know?
If you don't know, how would we know?
What is it?
What should I do?
Are you an idiot? Do whatever you want to.
So... I can do what I want?
How many times must I tell you?
If you don't do what you want, you don't make any progress.
But...
if you made an effort to enjoy something you didn't like doing,
wouldn't that be progress?
It would work, but it takes a lot of effort.
But when you're doing things you like, you don't even realize it takes effort.
You're right.
I hate the word "effort." I want to erase it from the dictionary.
When you learn lines for your plays,
is it tough work?
It's tough, but...
It's not tough...?
Believe me. It's not tough.
It may be a tough thing to do.
But if you like it, it doesn't feel tough.
When you love something, nothing feels tough.
I just said something deep.
I'll never outdo that. Are we gonna eat?
Yes. Let's eat.
Come on, Jimmy.
Thank you.
-We're grateful for the meal. -Thank you for the meal.
Here. Here.
If I wanted your advice, what could I ask you about?
"Matters of life or death."
What else is there to worry about?
Enough of this chitchat. The food's cold already.
-It's your fault. Hurry up and eat. -I'm sorry."
This is good.
-Boss, such bad manners! Look at me. -What?
Why in the world are you eating like this? What's wrong with you?
What's wrong with it?
What a mess! I have to clean it up, you know.
Just do it quickly later.
It's not that easy.
Will Jimmy ever stand on his own two feet?
Why do you ask?
I was wondering when comedians become full-fledged.
Well, they make the decision themselves.
Some people say some weird things.
Like what?
"Jimmy's not funny without Sanma."
I guess that's my fault, too. I'll have to keep working until he's funny by himself.
Those comedians sure have it tough.
I'm a comedian, too.
I forgot.
What terrible acting!
-You married a difficult guy. -I sure did.
One, two... Nearly there.
-There are so many steps. -Three more to go.
-Okay. This way. -What floor is this?
It's the second floor.
Don't peek yet. Be careful of your step.
Okay, nearly there.
-We're not there yet? -Nearly. I think here will do.
Okay. Open your eyes.
-A studio? -That's right.
She was making Jimmy work so much so he could afford to rent a studio.
And he ended up being too busy to think about sex.
-That's "two birds with one stone." -Yes, it is.
I knew Big Bro Sanma's intuition never failed.
You were spot-on.
Either way, Takamiya's doing real well.
If she heard you say that, she would be so happy.
But I wonder...
if that's what Jimmy wanted.
What do you think? Do you feel like Picasso?
Can you paint now?
No. This place makes me nervous.
I rented it because I thought it seemed like a nice studio for you.
You don't have to worry about the others like you would at the theater.
The dressing rooms would've been fine.
Come again?
If I get in the mood, I can paint anywhere.
What do you mean?
You don't get it!
You're right. I don't get it.
-Help me understand. -I can't get in the mood!
-Why not? -"Why not?"
If I knew that, I would have finished it already!
I don't know myself. That's why I'm frustrated.
I don't get it myself.
Why don't you try to paint? You don't have to.
But the more I try to paint,
the more impatient I get. I can't do it.
I don't want to cause any trouble for Young Boss.
I don't know what to do.
That's the reason why I said,
"I wish I had somewhere I could concentrate."
And I took that literally?
I'm an idiot.
You're an idiot.
I really am an idiot.
The real idiot is...
me.
This isn't your fault.
This is a problem with me.
No.
I was the idiot.
I tried to find you a studio. I searched all over the place.
I wanted to make you happy.
I wanted to say, "I found a great place. Isn't it amazing?"
But I had no idea how you were feeling.
If all you needed to paint was a studio,
then anybody could paint.
We only just met, but I tried to act like some bigtime manager.
I should've known I was an idiot.
I'm sorry.
This place...
You found it for me.
Thank you.
I hope they laugh at it.
-What if they don't laugh? -They will definitely laugh.
They don't have to explode in laughter. But, please, laugh a little bit.
Even a bit of a smile will do.
We're ready to roll!
The Celebrity Painting Auction!
Without further ado, let's take a look.
Mr. Shigeyuki Takeda.
What a wonderful painting.
Ms. Yuriko Kashida. She looks like a professional.
And our last is by Jimmy Onishi.
So! This is Jimmy Onishi's painting.
Just how much will it sell for?
So, that was when you first started painting.
In the beginning, none of us even dreamed you could paint.
But when we were playing baseball,
you drew a picture on the underwear of your team uniform, right?
It was really well done.
I said, "Wow! You've got talent as an artist!"
But who drew it for you?
-My buddy Takasu. -That's right.
I said, "Wow! You drew that?"
"Yes, I did." "You've got talent as an artist!"
But it said "By Takasu" down the bottom.
I yelled, "Why lie to me?"
-Do you remember that? -Yes.
Yeah, that's right. But this is when it all started.
-Do you remember? -I do.
It was thanks to Shinsuke, but he always told you off, right?
Now you mention it.
-What happened when you cried at the goal? -Well...
-Was it a triathlon? -It was at a triathlon.
It was... It really was...
I don't think Big Bro Shinsuke saw what happened.
The truth was, Mr. Shinsuke made a TV show about a guy doing a triathlon...
It was a documentary about some guy trying to complete a triathlon, right?
But there was the main guy... The show was all about him, but...
The cameraman broke the tape at the finish line.
The cameraman crossed the line first and broke the tape?
So, it got to me. I couldn't stop laughing.
That's right. You were laughing and laughing.
It was an emotional scene. Everybody was crying.
But you were laughing your pants off, right?
And then Shinsuke rang me up.
He said, "Do something with that damn Jimmy!"
I said, "What happened?"
He said, "I filmed this emotion-filled masterpiece,
but he's laughing on-screen during the best scene!
What are you gonna do?"
And then you cried, right? Because Shinsuke told you off.
I did. On the set of Funny Tribe he said,
"Damn you. You're laughing in every scene.
We can't edit you out. You've ruined my whole show!"
So, I burst into tears. And then you said,
"You know what he's like."
And after Shinsuke left, I came and said to you,
"Jimmy, perfect!"
The end.